In the first session, the 90 minute deep dive, it was all about getting to know her, where she was now and where she wanted to be. We used life evaluation tools, the SOUL satisfaction scale and her answers on the consultation form to work out what her goal was and the outcome she wanted from our sessions together. Her main goal was to experience life, enjoy time with family and friends without feeling stressed all the time. She felt that she was being stopped from living her best life as the effects from the past were still lingering and dictated how she dealt with things. Having felt empty and unfulfilled for so long she had no sense of direction in her life and the lowest scoring area on her soul satisfaction scale was service/purpose with a score of 4 out of 10.
In the next few sessions we dove into Emz’s environment and looked at limiting beliefs and did an lots of different exercises one being called S.E.T.T which helped her recognise her two conflicting parts by identifying her current story and negative effects it’s having on her life and bringing into awareness her ideal life goal, gaining clarity over what changes she needed to make. Her current story was dealing with difficult issues by over eating which wasn’t helping her Diabetes 2 diagnosis. She was also socially cutting herself off which meant no exercise, being too scared to grocery shop on her own, no coffee with friends therefore exasperating her weight and medical condition issue. When visualising her best version she was happy, confident, in smaller dress sizes and leading exercise classes!
Next we looked at behaviour which means exploring her thoughts, feelings and actions and worked on building on her hopes and goals. We did an inner script exercise looking at painful events in her past and what these experiences made her believe about herself such as she is no good in relationships, her feelings didn’t matter, people didn’t like her, the things she loves get taken away. We used Byron Katie’s 4 question technique to turn these around and homework given was to work on positive affirmations that she had come up with.
Around the middle of our time together we looked at capabilities, helping her to recognise her strengths and values. She thought about things she had overcome in the past, challenging times where she just wanted to retreat but didn’t, such as attending karate. This helped her to recognise that her biggest strength was courage and that when she needed to do something she could. She realised that deep down she can do tough things. She wanted to get back to her Karate classes but had major anxiety around it so we looked at her belief system around going back. She felt overwhelmed, feared having a meltdown in class and she felt really frustrated with herself. To help with this we worked with EFT (emotional frequency technique) which is tapping which brought a great sense of release for her. She then used these at home when the issue arose and has now attended 3 karate classes!
In a few sessions we worked on her Identity, helping her to see if she was being true to who she really was? We worked on the inner critic, her inner critic was saying things to her like ‘you have no friends, no one likes you’ You are too lazy’ and Nobody loves you. A lot of these were from childhood and the things that were spoken to her then. We reframed the inner critic to what her inner best friend would say to her ‘you are perfect the way you are’ ‘lots of people like you’ you are not lazy, you do so much’ ‘my dearest friend you are so loved’ This led her to believe she is fully capable of making the changes she needs and she made a personal promise to herself which was 'No matter how hard things get, keep going, don't give up, I can achieve this'
We worked on her heart chakra, the energy fields of the heart chakra develop between the ages of 21 and 28 and so we examined her life experiences between those ages. The experiences she had during those times left her feeling unloved, that she lacks love and that her heart has been closed off for such a long time, she felt numb to joy and love. Here I used a heart chakra meditation and affirmations . We did a best mood vs worst mood exercise which helped her become more self aware when in these states and enabled her to see the relationship between her emotions and physiology. I asked her what the best version of her turned up like and what the worst version of her turned up like. She was really stunned to think about how her body was affected in both of those different states. Her best version was happy, confident, in smaller dress sizes. She worked out that in order to be in this best state more she needed to work on putting herself in a bubble of protection each day energetically. She needed to ‘step up, step out, and do it!’ Just move!
Finally we worked on her purpose which encompasses the bigger picture of her life and used the Soul Truth technique
As a result of Emz’s coaching sessions she now has more self resilience because she knows she can manage change without resorting to overeating or shutting herself away. She recognises that she can control those parts of her, she has the power to choose her actions.
She has a new awareness of herself, knows her blind spots and understands personal blocks and conflicts
She is wiser about herself having a greater insight into herself and others
She has a new found courage after learning this is one of her strengths and she is using this courage to embrace a journey of personal transformation
And she has a great adaptability now knowing she can make changes to become the person she was meant to be!